Motherly Instinct

When does a woman get her mother’s instinct? My daughter will be a mommy within the next month and last Friday, I got a first glimpse of it come out.

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of craziness. We went to San Diego, for a mini vacation. Met up with old friends that were pasturing in Portland, Or and now back in Southern Cal.

  

 Did so much sight seeing and walking. Wonderful family time. Getting the feel of the semi-empty-nest. Annabel was our only kid with us. It was a much needed time away, because I knew the busyness of work, ministry, & life in general we were coming back to. It gave me time to sit and think about WOW, how time has passed. My babies aren’t babies anymore. Where has the time gone, when did we grow up or shall I say grow old. Don’t get me wrong, Jesse and I feel it every morning when we cant get out of bed. But seriously, when did my kids grow up?

Coming back woke up some old feelings and failures, its funny how the devil will take any little issue and make it into a black hole; and if your not careful you won’t be able to pull yourself out of it. My husband and I try so hard to guide our girls with Godly wisdom. But we know, (just like our parents told us) they will eventually make their own decisions. I know the scripture “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he grows old, he will not depart” I honestly believe that in my heart. I have too hold on to that. The world tries to suck our kids up and spit them out only for God to mend the broken pieces (and that’s if they let him) and if were not careful as parents we can be part of the spitting out. I know my failures as a mother and friend that I sometimes don’t think before I speak (yup, I Know….I really mean, I shoot before I aim) I have honestly come along way from that and I find myself holding my tongue more than my flesh wants me too. But the issues with my kids this last week, have made me reevaluate what kind of mother I really am, and what kind of mother God wants me to be?

My mom and I had this talk the other night and she knows the pain only a mother can feel, but the reassurance she gave me on her own failures as a mother, and reminding me the difference is now I have Jesus to help guide ME with wisdom for my children, something she now admits and regrets she never gave me or had.

As the center of the storm (hurricane, in my opinion, Yup, I Know… I over exaggerate) came to its hardest part yesterday morning. And right in the middle my mom calls me; I will remind you she had no idea of the whole situation that was going down. But the wise words that came out of her mouth were “The devil is trying to take you and Jesse out, starting with your kids, don’t let him, don’t let go of the word, you guys have to much to loose” from a mother who didn’t raise me to be modest (if you got it flaunt it, kinda mom)  or deep in the word of God. To a mother who just got radically Holy Ghost save last year (something I never thought I would see, Yup, I know.. not trusting God) and is giving me Godly advice at the perfect moment I need it, showed me that a motherly instinct does come early when you have kids, but a Godly Instinct comes straight from getting deep into prayer and the word. Which is better?? I love having my motherly instinct, but that is mere flesh, I would rather have a Godly instinct, that is going to give me wisdom to speak words that bring purity and growth to my children. I know, we have to let go as parents, God did that with Jesus. But, Jesus is always there for his children (us) as we are with our kids, even when they mess up. I thank God every day for my salvation and life with him, I just leave my kids in his hands because those are the best hands they will ever be in, Yup, I know.. even better than mine. 

Luke 2:40
And the Child grew and became strong in spirit, filled with wisdom; and the grace of God was upon Him.