Babies arrival was followed by our annual Harvesters Homecoming, in which my hubby got to play the drums for worship on Friday night (what an honor). Poor guy was so nervous he bought new drumsticks especaially for the occasion, they had a rubber grip so they won't go flying out of his hands. Yup, I know putting Jess on blast is not cool, but he doesn't give himself enough credit on how awesome of a drummer he is!!! My man can JAM!!! The harvesters hit the conviction button is so many spots, especially the sermon my pastor preached, "Sons of our Father, where are the Preachers at?" Man talk about conviction. See Jesse is called to preach, he knows, I know it, most of all Gods told us, but we both fight it. Its a fear that overtakes us, that paralyzes us. We are servants, we love to serve, but we don't feel worthy for the "TITLE" of being called pastor and wife, at least I am speaking for myself. I know ME, my shortcomings, the issues (the cross) I carry daily, my mouth, yup, i know... sometimes I don't even know how to hold my tongue.
But yesterday something amazing happened. See this month is Pastor Appreciation Month and OHHH do I appreciate my pastor. See he is doing God's calling and faithful to that. He isn't perfect doesn't act it, and he showed Jesse that yesterday. We did a show for him and his wife that included testimonies, a puppet show (by the children's church kids), a rap song (written by a brother in the church) a poem, (also from another brother) an incredible slide show, and last but not least a gift (everyone chipped in for a brand new BBQer) followed by a luncheon of his favorite, Mexican food. He had no clue all this was going to happen, so the sermon he was supposed to preach ended up being basically just an alter call.
OK, back to my story on being called. After the show and food was said and done, pastor came up to Jesse to apologize to him, for thinking something negative about him before he ever came to get saved.
Rewind a couple of years. I was coming to church alone, taking my kids (this was after Jesse and I walked away from the ministry of 9 years and most of all Jesus). That was a hard discouraging point for me... we had hit rock bottom (or so I thought, little did I know, we were gonna fall even more). Jesse would come occasionally with me, snide remarks that he would never be a disciple in this church, still bitter. But it got to the point where I gave up on coming, again. I threw in the towel, another shortcoming I can't let go of. You know would Jesse have came out sooner had I not quit? Well I guess that all doesn't matter, because it wasn't God's time for him... See we fell even harder into Sin, Bitterness, Hate. But God knew what he was doing and when he was doing it. When we finally both got to the point of no return, God took the reigns and started steering us back. I just thank God my heart never hardened to the point of no return.
See now had we not gone through that Pastor never would of told Jesse what he thought, but never spoke years ago, then Jesse telling me (and him not knowing what sparked in my heart with it). Just because you have a calling on your life doesn't mean you have "Arrived" and you don't have shortcomings, but it does show you are obedient to the things of God. Thank you Pastor, for showing me that, its time to saddle up, because this ride is just beginning and God has the map. I need to stop listening to myself, and really trust God for what he has promised us, because like Jesus said "it is finished". I just need to start.
Romans 1:5
Through Him we have received
grace and apostleship
for obedience to the faith
among all nations
for His name
grace and apostleship
for obedience to the faith
among all nations
for His name
