Christmas Tree Fiasco

Every year during Thanksgiving weekend we get our Christmas Tree, its been like that since jesse and I have been together. This Thanksgiving weekend came and left so fast this year and no tree, we were sooo busy with Family and guests this year (David brought home a Marine buddy that wasn't able to go home for the holidays so we opened our  home up to him) He stayed all the way through Sunday. He even went to Anaheim with us to see Annabel wrestle at the first tournament for the season. She came in 3rd only losing to a girl that is ranked 4th in State. She is focused for this year and I'm excited to see how far she will go.

Okay, getting back to my Christmas Tree Story, Jesse left the Friday after Thanksgiving Weekend to Phoenix for a Men's Rally in our fellowship, meaning another weekend without a Tree. Ohhh No.. I needed that tree in my home. So Friday when Annabel got out of school I decided we would do it. We ended up at Cheesecake Factory for a nice dinner, then walked around the Oaks, (we had to walk off the Gluttony of a meal we had just endured) Leaving the Oaks, we both complained how tired we were and it was dark already, but we trudged on, getting 2 cups of coffee to spark up our passion to get the tree. Many of you know me and Belly are vertically challenged and our suburban is pretty high up (Yup, I know.. .I have to jump to get inside the driver seat, and have the seat pulled all the way forward to drive) Well we finally arrived at Home Depot and Belly was like "mom, how are we going to get that tree on the suburban" Ohh Ye of Little Faith!!! The Awesome worker at Home Depot Put it on top of it for us and even tied it down, of course Bell was watching the mirror the whole time making sure the tree didn't go flying off. When we finally got home we were stratergizing how we were going to get it off the roof of the SUV.. Annabel climbed on one side and me on the other, I wish I had someone taking pictures of this. When we finally off the car and took it upstairs, got it in the tree stand (only 2 hours to try to stand up in the stand without falling over). Here is the finishing tree... None of the ornaments match and the kids ornaments from elementary school are on it... See I am OCD remember and the oranments are supposed to match and be set on a theme, but with my age (and knowing Athena will be making me ornaments soon) I figured I would let Annabel go at it this year, so when Athena wants to, the kids can't complain. (shhhhhh... yup, I know not fair)

Sooo there you go... Wait.. no Fiasco in that story.. well i'm not done. Bell and I finally went to sleep, since she had to wrestle and be in Oxnard at 10 am the next morning, so while I was in a deep sleep I heard the loudest CRASH ever at 6 in the morning. I thought the building got hit or a train crashed across the street, but in an instant.. I remembered I put up the tree the day before. So I jumped out of bed and ran to the living room, my instincts were correct, my wonderful tree was on its side water all over the gifts and just lying there pitiful. I instantly texted jesse ( WE ARE GETTING A FAKE TREE NEXT YEAR & YOUR NEVER ALLOWED TO LEAVE THE STATE DURING THIS TIME OF YEAR EVER AGAIN).He laughed at me and called me, I could hear the guys in the background making fun of me. Ohhh talk about getting my adrenaline up and not being to go back to sleep. Annabel and I had to get a ladder to hold the tree up till Jesse got home that night. It was the most depressing looking tree ever. Well we got our tree up and ornaments back on, gifts re-wrapped (yup, i know.. they all got wet) But its gonna be a good Christmas, I got all my children coming home and my Mom. Have an awesome rest of the week!!!

Matthew 8:26
“Why are you fearful, O you of little faith?”

L.L.S. - LOVE, LEAD, SHARPEN

So many things that are so out of the norm have happened in the last two weeks. My heart breaks over alot of it. Is it self inflicted or just people? People always say your weak if your a Christian, but I beg to differ, being a Christian has been one of the toughest challenges to me (besides being a mom) See if your like everyone else in the world, something goes wrong or you don't like it, you can easily make a phone call cuss someone out and go have a drink, and who cares if you were in the right or in the wrong (yup, I know... I was cussed out this week), funny thing is it was done over voicemail, I just seen I missed a call but there was no message there, so I called this person back, had to calm the situation (without getting my emotions involved, which is such a hard thing for me, ask anyone that knows me) But I could hear Jess in my head saying, keep your cool cuz this can escalate, needless to say I got the person calm and hope it is situated, only time will tell, considering I thought it was taken care of last week. Anyways, that leads to how awesome God is, because had I heard that message of her cussing me out before I called would I had reacted differently... me knowing me.. For Sure... I would of manifested and been called legion in that one phone call HA HA HA (yup, I know.. i'm a nut) I have to sit and laugh at this because if I don't I can grow bitter, and that bitterness can grow into something nasty, something I want no part in.
This whole situation that started up last week got me and Jess talking about some serious things, and I had to tell him how much I just need his Love and for him to Lead... with those two things.. he begins to Sharpen me.. help to build me (with God's help of course) into the Woman, Wife, Friend, Mother, that God Wants me to be. I have such a hard time saying yes to God, no comes out sooo much easier (yup, I know... to personal) but you know what, these entries help me vent out in a way, so that nasty bitterness doesn't creep in. Its like just lately we both find ourselves fighting something... its like we get to this certain point in our walk and don't know how to get that breakthrough. Jesse went to Phoenix for a mens rally with our fellowship for 2 days and came back excited for what he heard, and knew what he needed to do.. Well the day after he got home, i have a breakdown.... i knew i needed a breakthrough.. lucky for me he bought the DVD's and put one on about addiction (don't worry i'm not an alcholic or on drugs) but addiction is a type of idolotry .. anything you put before God.. and my addiction can be my bad temper or negativity.. Let me tell you 5 minutes into the DVD, I was like Shut it Off.. i'll repent already.. LOL. I finished the video and thanked my hubby for once again loving me enough to lead me to the sharpening knife and putting me under for a quick heart surgery. Even after the heart surgery, Jesse still felt uneasy, called a brother in another state about some stuff... maybe to whine who knows but the brothers response was "how do you now all these things, God isn't orchestrating to deal with some things you and Delilah need to deal with, for something greater that is to come" HMMMMM??? Can you say we both had to repent AGAIN... I love this fellowship and the men & women in it, when we are going through the fire, I know we can call someone and get some good Godly advice and its not biased but based off the word of God.
Sorry if this entry was a heavy reavy... next entry will be lighter as I tell you about my Christmas Tree Fiasco.. hahaha

PROVERBS 27:17 

As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.

Harvest

Its only been a couple of weeks since my last entry but seems like forever ago. Whereever do I begin. We just got over Halloween, not that we celebrate it, but use it as an instrument to see souls saved. Our youth group that we call Young D.O.G.s (disciples of God) really got into it. 3 of them have jobs and called in or asked for the time off just to make sure they made practice and the put 100% into it, the others are in sports so would come directly out of practice worn out but ready to serve!! The drama could not of happened without these kids. I am so proud to be part of what is going on in their lives. 
So the Saturday before Jesse and I woke up early to pray a special prayer (yup, i know... it should always be special when we pray) but what you don't know is it seems like everytime we try to do something for God ... those fiery darts start taking aim (its usually me and my OCD.. i want it my way, my time or forget about it) yup, I know tooo much information.. But my hubby is so aware of these darts that he prepares mentally not only for them but for me. That sounds so horrible, I mean I eventually give in to him and his leadership skills, sometimes kicking and screaming (in our home, i'm not that crazy to do it in front of people) I would never belittle my husband like that. But does that make it or me any better NO.. I am a work in progress and will be the first to admit of all my flaws. My heart is being molded everyday for "his" glory. Okay back to my story...Saturday, we had originally planned to be at the church at like 9 am, yeah didn't happen, i had 4 teenagers stay over and the night before was our annual harvesters at our mother church in Santa Monica, needless to say, we slept in with much needed sleep. So by the time we got to the church it was lunch, the girls went and grabbed a pizza while Jess worked on all the lights we would be needing for the drama and I worked on getting some sort of curtain put up. 

The next 3 days were filled with us being at the church what seemed liked 24/7 (yup, i know... over exaggerating) But by Wednesday Night... everything came together.. the practicing

 ..the outreaching 

.. all built up for that one moment....

 souls being saved!!!! 6 souls came to the decision of salvation. All Glory to God...I failed to mention, Jesse and I stayed up Sunday night till Midnight trying to get a punch for this drama... and we got it... it finally came together at our last practice on Tuesday. See we may not have the greatest talent or most money to do extravagant dramas, but our little church and our people have BIG hearts for souls and  God sees and uses that for his glory.. WOW, if he could use Port Hueneme for this..How much more can he do in your city if you allow him?? 
After an exhausting week (well worth it) November 1st.. we went to church cleaning, was home by noon and layed around all day..

 We haven't done that in months.. and it was sooo nice. Well, its Monday back to the grind at Work, Follow up on some new souls added to the kingdom.. ohhh and begin planning the annual desert exchange for the women of our congregation. Have an awesome week!!! Be thankful this month!!

Mathew 9:37

Then he said to his Discples "The Harvest is truly plentiful, but the laborers are few"

One Year Old

Well believe it or not, just one year ago I was writing on how faith got me through such a roller coaster ride of the birth of my 1st grandchild Athena RaeLynn Madera. She has brought so much joy and love into my life, I tear up just thinking of all the behind the scenes of my ugly character that she has changed, just by being here. I thank God everyday for her. Last Thursday she got her very first ear infection (yup, I know... two days before her birthday party). But the party was in full motion and everything turned out perfect. My pastor and his family showed up with others from our congregation and a handfull of family members. I do have to say... so glad its over.. LOL don't get me wrong. I love planning parties.. but thats just it.. I love planning them, but thats all I would rather not entertain, even though I'm good at it. I would like to for once just sit back and watch. But me being me (was called OCD and Control Freak this week) I don't think I could sit back. LOL. Its ok I can designate pretty well. 

I would have to say the best part of the party was seeing my mom there and seeing what an awesome woman of God she has become and is allowing God to mold her, she has bypassed everything I ever thought she would do. I honestly wasn't expecting her to show up, due to some family issues, but she did. Not only did she show up, she stayed, she did walk out the room, compose herself and came back in and showed me and everyone else the Joy of the Lord and all he is doing in her life. See had this situation arise 2 years ago, I know for a fact my mom would not of showed up or she would of and it would of ended in yelling and fighting (yup, I know .. .overexagerating) but for reals.. it would of! But like I said GOD IS AMAZING.. its all on his timing of  what he is doing in our lives.. we just have to be patient, its not in our timing.. I have waited 40 years to have my mom.. .not a mother.. but my mom, and I know my girls and I are enjoying every minute we have with her. Have an awesome week. Its back to the fathers business and prepare to see souls saved this month, with Harvesters next week and our "Dead End" Drama for Halloween.

Ecclesiastes 3

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

NEGLECT

So these last couple of weeks I have been heading over to a couple of other properties to help my supervisor out with a whole bunch of work that is behind. I'm not talking about a whole bunch of work I'm talking about years of neglected work, stuff that should of been filed away since 2012. When I got there I had no idea what I was getting into, I don't think she did either, but then I got a serious revelation yesterday.... all this neglect put the work in a disarray, things missing that are mandatory,  that you don't even know are missing but should be put in the file.. and that goes the same with our Christianity. The neglect or putting off of things in our Christianity will do the exact same thing. Stuff that should or should not be in our heart suddenly gets there due to Neglect,  whether its slacking off on your morning prayer or reading of the bible. Things in our heart can get in a total disarray, and who really wants to be there?  What may of only took 2 weeks of Neglect can take months or years to fix. My Pastor preached a sermon last night on a sure foundation, its things that are going to help us stay in the Faith, but we need to remember our reference points and not neglect the little things (like filing) because when an audit comes in (like a trial or tribulation) Are we going to pass or just fail, because we know its bound to happen, just make sure your ready. Have a great weekend. Pictures to come of Athena's first Bday!!!

HEBREWS 2:3

how shall we escape if we neglect so great a salvation, which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed to us by those who heard Him,

NEUTRAL

I have been asked multiple times "why haven't  you updated your blog" Good question... not so easy an answer. This last weekend my hubby and I were blessed to be able to go to Pismo Beach for a Marrieds Retreat. Everything was coming against us not going, to the point of the day before a family member  not having enough money to pay rent and asking for help, then J saying yes, so should be reconsider going and spending extra money? But we stepped out and went anyways. And boy are we glad we did. See the last few months Jess and I have been on "Neutral" with our walk with God. Not deep in sin or so we thought, but just not moving forward, on the calling we have been called to and that is to Love Jesus & See Souls Saved. Its like we always (or at least speaking for myself) get soo far in ministry and then its like this cloud covers over me. I forget who I am and what I was saved from. I start looking around and not at myself, and that is such an ugly place to be because I forget about J.O.Y. (Jesus, Others, You) and in doing so I puts me in a "Neutral" stage.. I don't worry about the flock God has given us to work with or the needs of the Church. Now that is a total sin because its, in my opinion is full on rebellion. Its funny the first sermon at the retreat wasn't revelation, but simple to the point of saying if our marriage fails what will be the focal point for our kids to see us making it. And the lightbulb went off on me with my salvation and ministry... goes hand in hand since we are supposed to be married to the church, what will the people in church (baby christians) focal point be if we backslid or go in "Neutral"  The final sermon also put the final nudge on me, talking about smoke damage (like from a fire) Smoke damage can be smelled on for a long time even after the fire has burned out... and I don't want that lingering on me like some stinky ugly thought of yesterdays defeats. No I want that FIRE - God's Fire like with Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-Nego were in that had no smoke damage, becuase of faithfulness!! I guess its time to step out in faith and not look to the left nor to the right but on to Jesus to the finish line. 
I will be posting more often, no excuses anymore!!!

1 Peter 1:7 

 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ,

Stepping it Up

Where has the summer gone... its like just yesterday I was writing about getting ready for conference and we are back, have had numberous outreachs, door scenes, park carnivals, a wedding, and a revival... and that was all squeezed in just in the last two weeks. 

I just finished reading a blog by a women I have always admired, but recently have come to really appreciate her words. She is an unspoken hero in my book... she wrote about "taking time to breath" Boy is that some seriously wise words that I should listen too.. I get so caught up with any little task I do. Don't get me wrong I love every minute of it, but sometimes I do get a little overwhelmed but a bit too prideful and controlling stop and breath (yup, I know.... me prideful and controlling).  
Jesse & I have been having such a personal breakthrough with our Young D.O.G.s (Disciples of God) youth group. We got them going on outreach, wanting to just hang out with us, (how many teenagers do you know that want to hang out with two old geezers...even if were cool geezers.. hee hee)

 Last Sunday he did an illustration on what Jesus means to us... and his death.... how it affects us.. he had each kid be a part of the walk and crucifix  of Jesus.. he had one kid carry the cross.. and went into detail..

He really touched the kids after service one kid came up and said that was one of his favorite studies... See Jesse has such a soft heart for people especially kids, I think alot of that stems from him not really enjoying or getting to be a kid for so long in his childhood.The bible talks about when you grow old put childhood things behind.. but Jesus has given Jesse the heart to keep those things to really touch these kids. 
Revival wasn't something I was looking up to (yup I know.. what??) I was just exhausted going non stop was taking a toll on me plus working Overtime at work also ( the devil soo knows how to try to distract me) The last night of revival was something new ..a prayer and prophecy service... the girls were sooo excited to see what God had for them.. they went EXPECTING.. and guess what.. each girl, Cinda, Bell & Myra each got a word.. and on point with where each girl was on her walk with God. I was a ball of tears as the Pastor spoke.. then he came up to my Hubby... time for his to step up his game... god wants him to make disciples not just be a disciple...
The pastor asked us what we wanted to pray for.. I told him something that was really dear to my heart.. and after service I got a message from someone at another church that it happened..  Isn't God Great!!! He knows us better than we know ourselves.. knows what we need not what we want. But does gives us the desires of our hearts.. especially when its for souls.
I am ready for the new school year to move upon us and see what more exciting things God has for us. Have an awesome rest of the week!!! 

Ephesians 5:1 

Therefore be imitators of God as dear children.

Loose Ends

As I sit here at my desk trying to tie up loose ends at work before I leave for 10 days, my mind keeps wandering. And then I find myself in a puddle of tears. Thank God I didn't wear contacts today. Tomorrow marks another wonderful milestone that I am so grateful for, my daughter J will be graduating from High School. I was a little apprehensive when the school year started, then when she moved out to get married, I honestly didn't think she was going to do it. Oh,  Ye of Little Faith.. yup, I know that's me. She has proved me wrong. She is growning up to a wonderful mother and woman of God raising her daughter up in the faith. OHHH,  I am such a big baby when it comes to my kids!!

We started the week off with a 3 day fast, Monday went smooth....then Tuesday.. a couple of bumps in the road.. a little self condemnation and insecurities started to flood in, little nibbles of lies begin to come in.. I had to stop and pray.. remind myself that I have come this far and there is no turning back, because the end is already written and we have WON. 
So like the usual me, I found every little thing I needed to do.. or extra things as I usually do, to keep myself busy. I needed ribbon, so I went into my very neglected craft closet (Jesse calls it my $200 closet) and decided to clean it out.. WHOA..that was a bigger job than I had envisioned.. Well it didn't help that at Valentines and Easter I got a couple of Huge grab bags of extra stuff for $2 bucks at Micheal's Craft (yup, I know SCORE) 

Well in the middle of that I realized I needed to get to the store to get candy to make Jacinda her candy leis for graduation, plus for the youth that are graduating with her that are in our Young Dogs (Disciples of God) Youth Group.

 Before I knew it it was already 10pm. I love how God helps me come back to reality and not play the pity party, he is sooo faithful in that. Because if we are honest alot of time we play the victim in our own little pity parties (or is that just me?) 
Well its Wednesday, at 5pm I clock out for vacation. I haven't even started packing, Still got to shop, cook & decorate for a graduation dinner at my moms, pick up Jesse's dry cleaning, pack, go to the bank, pack the suburban,  the list goes on and on......ohhh wait didn't I just say no pity party??? I am just sooo ready to get on the road for our annual Tuscon Conference. I NEED a refresher or just a good kick in the butt, so I don't forget where I come from. Jesse wants to leave Friday at 3am... yup, i know.. he is something else.. he is just excited to get there early and spend time with our girls and so am I, but 3 am, that's a bit early. 
A few months ago I wrote about how excited I was about my cousin and her husband locking into one of our fellowship church's,  well the best part of our trip will be getting to meet up with them and meet their church family. See How Awesome Our God Is!!!! Well I better get off this computer, wipe the tears and get moving! Have a great week!!

Mathew 14:31

And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”

Mother's Day

I hope all you wonderful mothers had a fantastic Mothers Day, I got to Celebrate 2 days in a Row.. Well 4 if you count Thursday & Friday too. See Thursday evening we took Steven & Cinda out for dinner and did some walking at the Simi Towne Center and went to the armed forces history museum, then Jesse was like "hey lets pull an all nighter" (thats about 11:30 pm our time haha) So we did just that and headed over to my favorite all time store Winco (grocery store), did some serious damage there and went to bed way past our all nighter time. Then Friday my hubby took the day off and we hung out all day, took Annabel to School then went window shopping, I tried on sooo many outfits and left with nothing (that drives Jesse crazy) but I'm the kind of shopper that has to "Feel" it to actually buy it, Crazy, Yup, I know. After a couple more stores we decided to try something new for lunch, Famous Dave's BBQ, I'm not a big fan of BBQ Sauce but this place was a super WINNER in my book. We then went and picked up our granddaughter, and her & I went Shopping (i know again?) with my Mommy.. :) while Jess stood home and studied for his sermon. She wanted to Bless Cinda with new clothes for our Annual Church Conference in Tuscon. After a crazy day of shopping we finally came home and another wonderful surprise was my baby boy (not so baby, 20 year old US Marine, hee hee)  showed up for the weekend festivities, I wasn't expecting him to come at all. 
Saturday Morning we all got up and got ready to head south to see Jesse's family, see May 10th is Mexico's Mothers Day. We had a huge BBQ and his sisters home ( a place we love getting together at). Wonderful food and the kicker is they asked Jesse to pray over the food before we started. I think its awesome that they embrace prayer (especially since some of them think we are "extreme" with "our church") I was just glad my mother in law got to have all her childeren, grand children and great grandchildren there to help her Celebrate. 

Sunday Morning followed with more celebrating, I was in my room getting ready for church when my two girls came in with my gift. They sang me a song.. I was trying so hard to stay strong and not cry but by the time Cinda sang her solo.. I was choking down the tears. It was the best gift ever!!!! I was blessed again with my Hubby getting to preach at church (our pastor and his family were on vacation). He did amazing!!! He always does!!! I am so proud to call him my Husband. We had a few visitors, two main guests were my mom's sisters!! She was so excited. See she just got a new Tablet and posted on FB to let all her family and friends know her Son in law was preaching.. She is so cute!! I love her so much, especially into the wonderful woman of God she is becoming. Just the encouragement she gives me (she might not know it, but she does)!

After service my husband blessed my mom, me and Cinda with lunch at the best Chinese Restaurant in Oxnard, Yup, I know. .... Golden Chicken Inn.

Finally to end the spectacular weekend, my husband got me a purse, Yup, I know.. I have to many purses.. don't worry it wasn't another Dooney or Coach... hee hee but it was cute!!!!

I hope all you mothers out there were as blessed as I was this past weekend! We all deserve a pat on the back because being a mom is one of the most emotional, tear jerking, rewarding job in the world, and the worst part is our children are only borrowed for this time on earth!!! But so worth it!!! Have a great day!!

Proverbs 23:25

Let your father and your mother be glad, And let her who bore you rejoice.

Just because............I LOVE HER

What are you hiding????

My last entry was only after months of dwelling on something internal that was spiritually killing me, my marriage, my family but most of all my walk with God. We are in the midst of a revival at church and my hubby asked me before it started if I was going into it with an open heart and mind. I told him I would go in with an open mind, but my heart is mine. I was still to afraid to give it out, just to be shred to pieces again (yup, I know.... over exaggerating my emotions again). We kicked off the revival with one of our carnivals at the park,  Jesse asked me mid-way if I would give my testimony.. there was no thinking about that one.. I instantly said No. Then on Sunday Morning, I was so excited to be in nursery (if you know me, you know I really am not big on nursery, but I figured it was better than what God was going to be doing to my heart) After service as usual during a revival some kind of quarrel comes up between me and Jess... and it was a doosey.... but then I seen it with my daughter and her husband. I had to sit back giggle and then think "What am I doing", remember those inherited curses I was talking about? Yeah I ain't breaking those chains, I am giving them to my kids and their growing families. GOD Smote me (not literally but spiritually) something broke inside me. I went to service that night EXPECTING great things. Was it an over the top sermon? Did the heavens open? Nope none of that.. just straight preaching and something started to turn in me. Then last night, I seen miracles.. things I have been holding onto that no one knows about but God were revealed in the preaching. Simple words, about hiding the hurt, brokenness and that's what I had been doing, and all the while blaming God and my Husband, for things that are far beyond their control. I thank God for his faithfulness. Its on his timing. I had to go through this to see his truth and power, and I did just that.
The next miracle, was couples and families that havent been at service showed up. Words of encouragement were given out. My heart is right and ready for the next chapter of what God has for Jess and I. and I know its BIG!!!!  Have an awesome day!!!

1 Chronicles 28:9

“As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a loyal heart and with a willing mind; for the Lord searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will cast you off forever.

Pivotal Turning Point

All I can say is the last 3 months have been a complete blur. I have allowed something to come into my heart and kill, steal, & destroy the peace and joy God has given me. I know exactly the day and hour it happened, Yup I know.. am I continuing to dwell on it? Sometimes... yeah.. just being honest. 
Knowing in my heart and soul that God would never let me down, he is the first I let go of. I got angry and upset, felt like it was all his fault I was feeling this way. How could he allow my daughter to move out and take my grandbaby with her (mind you I didn't care that her and Steven were about to make things right and get married) 

Ohh no none of that matter to me!!But God knew what he was doing, I didn't care it had to be my way... Whoa who do I think I am, you may say. The person that Jesse always says that is so stubborn that I would cut my right arm off to prove I was right (when I am ever wrong??) Yeah Right!!! More than I would like to admit.
Have I gotten better, have I given everything to God, No and Some... but I can't give up, I won't give up. I have some family curses to break and help my daughter and her new family to learn from. I just thank God he isn't anything like me, cuz he would of left me High & Dry. 
Well off to a busy week.. REVIVAL... maybe soon i will go into a deeper detail of all my stress' and worry. Have an awesome week!!

Walls Up

So January is already over and so much has happened in my emotion roller coaster kinda life. So much to catch you all up on.
The month started out sooo perfectly heading to Prescott Arizona for our January Fellowship Conference.

 We got to meet up with so many old friends from the North West. I know Jesse and I were both a little apprehensive about seeing them. But with Gods Grace everything was perfect, lots of tears of joy. Seeing my old friend Mitch, was such a blessing and brought me back to the beginning joys of when I first became a Christian. 

I know the devil was out for us from the get go, because by day 2, we got a call saying Annabel was being rushed to the emergency room. I was like really?? Now?? But with prayer and faith, she was fine, no broken ribs (the life of a wrestler).

 I then met a pastors wife from New Mexico in the elevator (yup, I know, God knows what he is doing) she gave me some information on a new church in the town my cousin lives in. I text my cousin that day and her and her husband have been faithful going to that new work, Mike is even attending the morning prayer. My prayers for them have been non stop, we played hard together, now we will serve hard together. All because of God's timely ways.

So many timely messages were preached and one that really sticks out was by Pastor Warner, 3,2,1....life changing experiences... Well on the last day of conference I got one of those life changing experiences, it was an unexpected phone call. That call did something to me that I find myself having a hard time to tear this wall down that came up when that call was received and I knew the events were taking place as we drove back to California. I hate crying, but our drive home consisted of just that and Jesse laying hands on me praying. I know when I put a wall up, its so I don't get hurt, to me it feels like every time I take a brick off it makes me vulnerable for just that (to get hurt) Were is God in all this I ask, and that's the problem, my my wall goes up, I find it hard to pray and seek him... Yup, I know to honest, because he should be the one I run to so HE can tear down these walls he so wonderfully does. 
Well its the 3rd week of coming home from conference and my shell is still there but I know I am little by little trying, to come out my shell. Jesse has been very supportive and is a true blessing to have as a partner. 

Okay enough with the downer, for some awesome upbeat news.. Jesse and I started up a youth bible study, and Annabel was able to get 3 of the wrestlers to come, I was so gloriously blessed to be able to pray with the two girls, (that took two bricks off my heavy heart) it reminds me of Gods awesome power to save. The most awesome part of that was they are excited to come back next week and actually showed up to Bible Club (did I mention our pastor is a High School math teacher where Annabel goes to school and holds a Bible Club meeting every week) That is such a milestone Jesse and I have been praying for. We want the next generation to catch the Vision we have been laboring for, and its coming to pass. 

Well, in two weeks we will be having Pastor Warner and his wife bless us with a Marriage Seminar. It's time for me to really start tearing down this wall and believe God is going to put spiritual blinders on me to protect my heart. Pray for us and I pray for all you!! Have a blessed week!!!

Isaiah 25:12

The fortress of the high fort of your walls He will bring down, lay low, And bring to the ground, down to the dust.

QUALITY not QUANTITY

So it's 2014.. Yup, I know.... so much has happened since my last post. We had Christmas and New Years. This was our first year as Grandparents for Jesse and I, and I do have to say it was the most amazing feeling to have. We both had to work on Christmas Eve, and I hadn't even bought our prime rib yet for dinner. Yup, I know.. Lil miss planner was sooo not ready for Christmas this year.. just two days before I was still trying to buy gifts, getting Athena's ears pierced, oh and did I forget to mention I spent the Friday and Saturday before Christmas at the High School running the wrestling snack bar that is over 24 full hours put in two days (thank you Hilda for all your help).. WHOOO no wonder I was a mess. I text Jesse first minute I got into my office on Christmas Eve.. my usual melt down.. who else will listen to me.. ohhh how I love him. He  kept reminding me we have time.. everything will be fine.. "Be fine, we still got to go shopping for dinner, make our rounds to my abuelita's house for tamales, candle light service at 6, then drive back to Moorpark to make dinner. Well as usual my hubby was right, we had time.. God stretched the time out for us. We decided on something different for dinner and went with a steamer pot (like joe's crab shack with andouille sausage, clams, corn on the cob, red potatoes, shrimp). It was perfect. after dinner we decided to play a new game we bought for the family. My mom cracks me up, she just doesn't get it sometimes.. I just thank God he saved her and brought us back together as a mother daughter should be. 

We finally let the kids open their gifts and they stayed up till a little after two am. Christmas day, Jesse and David made breakfast while I baked some goodies to take to Jesse's sisters house. At the same time Jesse, Bell & David were getting their silly Christmas outfits together (his awesome sister always has a different kind of theme) Jesse swears he took first. I felt a cold coming on and took some day quil on the way there and tried to fight it off  but  it till finally took over and on the way home I took some nyquil.... I was down for the count for the next 3 days. I finally left the house Sunday morning to go to church. I ended up missing a two day wrestling tournament that I was supposed to chaperone, once again THANK YOU HILDA FOR STEPPING IN!!!! Annabel wasn't too happy since this Saturday I will be missing another Tournament as Jesse & I will be leaving to Prescott for our fellowships
January Conference. Sorry Baby Girl!!! But know that dad and I are proud of you.. Did I mention she text me the first day and said she just led the girls in a prayer while they were in a huddle before the first match. That's QUALITY....
New Years, Jesse planned a night of games and food at the church. My awesome pastor's wife decorated the church so perfectly. So many families were out sick. But this was a get together in my opinion of QUALITY not QUANTITY. We had two new families that are beginning to really lock in, they are such a blessing to our congregation in their own ways and we are truly blessed to have them. We also had an abundance of  teenagers come, three just so happened to be wrestlers that are on Annabel's team... and attend the school my pastor teaches at. See I honestly believe God brought Jesse and I to this little church to watch and remind us of How Great is Our God. I know my hubby was a little discouraged there wasn't a bigger turnout for the Celebration.. but I reminded him Quality not Quantity. See even when things are going good, the devil will try to sneak his slimy head in and try to take any Victory that God is doing. 

Finally last night we had our prayer and prophecy service and again, not many came, but those that did, had this apparent fire in their hearts to get a hold of all that God has for our congregation. Jesse asked me what our personal theme was for the new year.. I instantly said Discipline..because personally I know I need more discipline in my prayer life, reading my bible, follow up... the list goes on and on, but as I write this and have been trying to get a hold of God since last nights prayer service.. I changed that theme to Quality not Quantity... Make everything I do for 2014 matter.. like its the last time I have to do it... whether its to share the gospel with someone or show my hubby that I do listen and be more sensitive to his needs. Like its an URGENCY.. remember Jesus is coming back and we don't know when.. make your life matter, he did...... for you!!!

2 Corinthians 8:3-5

³ For I bear witness that according to their ability, yes, and beyond their ability, they were freely willing, ⁴ imploring us with much urgency that we would receive the gift and the fellowship of the ministering to the saints. ⁵ And not only as we had hoped, but they first gave themselves to the Lord, and then to us by the will of God.