L.L.S. - LOVE, LEAD, SHARPEN

So many things that are so out of the norm have happened in the last two weeks. My heart breaks over alot of it. Is it self inflicted or just people? People always say your weak if your a Christian, but I beg to differ, being a Christian has been one of the toughest challenges to me (besides being a mom) See if your like everyone else in the world, something goes wrong or you don't like it, you can easily make a phone call cuss someone out and go have a drink, and who cares if you were in the right or in the wrong (yup, I know... I was cussed out this week), funny thing is it was done over voicemail, I just seen I missed a call but there was no message there, so I called this person back, had to calm the situation (without getting my emotions involved, which is such a hard thing for me, ask anyone that knows me) But I could hear Jess in my head saying, keep your cool cuz this can escalate, needless to say I got the person calm and hope it is situated, only time will tell, considering I thought it was taken care of last week. Anyways, that leads to how awesome God is, because had I heard that message of her cussing me out before I called would I had reacted differently... me knowing me.. For Sure... I would of manifested and been called legion in that one phone call HA HA HA (yup, I know.. i'm a nut) I have to sit and laugh at this because if I don't I can grow bitter, and that bitterness can grow into something nasty, something I want no part in.
This whole situation that started up last week got me and Jess talking about some serious things, and I had to tell him how much I just need his Love and for him to Lead... with those two things.. he begins to Sharpen me.. help to build me (with God's help of course) into the Woman, Wife, Friend, Mother, that God Wants me to be. I have such a hard time saying yes to God, no comes out sooo much easier (yup, I know... to personal) but you know what, these entries help me vent out in a way, so that nasty bitterness doesn't creep in. Its like just lately we both find ourselves fighting something... its like we get to this certain point in our walk and don't know how to get that breakthrough. Jesse went to Phoenix for a mens rally with our fellowship for 2 days and came back excited for what he heard, and knew what he needed to do.. Well the day after he got home, i have a breakdown.... i knew i needed a breakthrough.. lucky for me he bought the DVD's and put one on about addiction (don't worry i'm not an alcholic or on drugs) but addiction is a type of idolotry .. anything you put before God.. and my addiction can be my bad temper or negativity.. Let me tell you 5 minutes into the DVD, I was like Shut it Off.. i'll repent already.. LOL. I finished the video and thanked my hubby for once again loving me enough to lead me to the sharpening knife and putting me under for a quick heart surgery. Even after the heart surgery, Jesse still felt uneasy, called a brother in another state about some stuff... maybe to whine who knows but the brothers response was "how do you now all these things, God isn't orchestrating to deal with some things you and Delilah need to deal with, for something greater that is to come" HMMMMM??? Can you say we both had to repent AGAIN... I love this fellowship and the men & women in it, when we are going through the fire, I know we can call someone and get some good Godly advice and its not biased but based off the word of God.
Sorry if this entry was a heavy reavy... next entry will be lighter as I tell you about my Christmas Tree Fiasco.. hahaha

PROVERBS 27:17 

As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.